How did I get over my breakup with my ex?
First, I laid in bed all day and I cried. Then I looked at my fan, blowing cold air my way, and then I farted. The fan blew it back in my face and then I cried some more.
My phone went off and I checked it. My cousin was expressing his love for Goldberg. Goldberg sucks. And then I cried some more.
I decided to get out of bed and wash my ass. I got in the shower and felt the warm water grace my body. I grabbed the soap, dropped it, and slipped on it. I laid on my side…and then I cried some more.
I went to eat some ice cream. It was vanilla with a chocolate swirl. I was enjoying it until I thought of you…and then I cried some more.
I started drinking Dr. Pepper like crazy. Those 23 flavors making sweet love to my mouth. Then I thought about that time I took off your red college tee to make love…and then I cried some more.
I thought about crafting a cosplay based off of Jim Gordon’s Batsuit. I didn’t cry after that. I just really want to make that suit.
I finally came to the realization that I’m a good man and I wasn’t meant for you. Then…I didn’t cry anymore.