Writing

Calling All Cars Vol. 2

I remember a time when my granny was peeling potatoes. She peeled the potatoes so roughly that I could hear them writhing in pain. She asked me where Bitch was at. Bitch being my grandfather. And I finally asked granny why did she call grandfather, “Bitch.”

She told me that he lost his man-piece. I asked her how did he lose it. She told me that I was too young to understand. I told her that I was in my twenties. She completely forgot that I was in my twenties and apologized. She explained to me that grandfather got wasted and decided to go hang out with a few of his military buddies. One of grandfather’s buds had a pet snapping turtle named Chewy and they all decided to dangle their dicks in front of it to see who could dodge its mouth the quickest. Needless to say, my grandfather wasn’t the quickest. 

I asked granny why she still has been with him the past few years. She told me that he liked to eat her ass and he was the only man that she knew that would do that to her. I told my granny that that was disgusting and I didn’t need to know that. She responded by telling me that I was in my twenties. Then told me to go get Bitch so he could get supper started.

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