Comedy · Short Stories

The Mustached Tyrant (Part Two)

Pasty pulls into the parking lot of his job. His old, rugged black Jeep comes to a halt as Pasty parks. Pasty looks at the building of evil before him. Gray walls made from center block and mortar with a huge bright sign that reads, “Shop-A-Lot-Mart.” Pasty is tired of this place and is hoping that he’ll soon get a phone call from another company, asking him for an interview. Pasty knows why he’s still working hard for this shithole and it’s for a girl that he calls “Freckles.”

Freckles started working for Shop-A-Lot-Mart five months ago and on her first day there, Pasty was immediately drawn to her. Long brown hair and a face full of…well, freckles. She also has dark blue eyes that is similar to how blue the ocean looks when a storm is over it. He had to say something to her. He had to get to know her. The first conversation was awkward, but it paved the way for how the two would eventually interact with one another.

“Hey…um, how’s it going?” said Pasty.

“Good,” said Freckles.

Freckles smiles at him. Pasty gets red in the face. His face glows redder than Rudolph’s nose.

“So…um…what’s your name?”


Pasty laughs at her response.

“What’s so funny?” she said.

“We have so many of them here,” he said.

“Fuck! Am I the cutest one?”

Pasty stops laughing and pauses. Freckles waits with anticipation.

“…yeah…” said Pasty.

“No need to be shy, man.”

She laughs at him. He grins back.

“Since we have so many Ashleys, can I call you ‘Freckles?’ ” he said.

She looks away and ponders about his question.

“You can if I get to call you ‘Pasty.’ ”

“Am I really that white?”

“Yeah, but you’re cute.”

Pasty takes his hand and runs it through his long, blonde stringy hair. He blushes hard.

“What’s your real name, though?” she said.

“Derek,” he said.

“My brother was friends with a guy whose name was Derek. That fucker loved drugs. He was a dick to my brother.”

“Well, I assure you that I don’t do drugs.”

“Good. I’m not calling you Derek though. You’re Pasty.”

Pasty snaps out of the daydream and back to the bleak world. He gets out of his Jeep and it begins to rain. He knows that Mr. Mustache works today, who has been a thorn in his side since he started working for Shop-A-Lot-Mart. Mr. Mustache is driving Freckles crazy too. Both Pasty and Freckles are looking for new jobs because Mustache is the only thing that makes their world suck. The only thing that scares the pair is the aspect that if they both get new jobs, then they may not be able to see one another anymore. They’ve only been together for five months, but they want to see if it could go for longer.


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