Comedy · Nonfiction · Rants

Crazy Preacher Guy

Crazy Preacher Guy made his return to campus yesterday. I don’t know Crazy Preacher Guy’s name and hell, I don’t plan on learning it. I imagine everyone else on campus doesn’t want to learn his name either, so I just call him…Crazy Preacher Guy.

Crazy Preacher Guy usually comes to our campus at least once every semester. He comes and he stands at our amphitheater–shouting at everyone. He usually shouts Bible verses…and tells almost everyone that they’re going to Hell. He is pretty much the real-life version of Quentin Tarantino’s blind preacher character from Little Nicky, except…not blind. But pretty much that is all he does every time that he is here.

Now, I will admit that I’m an Agnostic, but I do respect other people’s point of views and respect people who believe in any sort of religion. I don’t judge others, as long as they don’t judge me. Crazy Preacher Guy on the other hand loves to do it. He’ll just judge someone and he won’t even know the person. That same person could share the same religion as him and he just tells them they’re going to hell.

I just wonder what makes Crazy Preacher Guy tick. Does he just wake up in the morning and decide that he’s going to go piss a bunch of students off at a university? That’s extreme thinking. My first thought in the morning is usually to lay back down because my bed is comfortable and I’m in love with it. Maybe he thinks he’s doing right, but it’s clear he isn’t.

I do enjoy the students, who happen to stop by to tell him he’s wrong or to do something to piss him off. One semester we had couples (straight and gay) just stop and start making out in front of him. That set him on edge, but he deserved it. I was giggling so hard at his frustration. I was like, “Hahaha, Crazy Preacher Guy, you can’t stand it.”

Can we stop Crazy Preacher Guy? No, we can’t. He has the freedom of speech on his side. We can’t tackle him. We can’t punch him. We can’t throw hot coffee in his face…hell, he’s not worth wasting a cup of coffee over. He could handle his matters much more professionally if he wanted to. If you want people to believe in what you’re selling, then maybe you should develop a new sales pitch, such as kindness. Crazy Preacher Guy…just go home, man.


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